This Is To You, My Late Brother.

I once had biological brothers too. Yes I had, now I only have a biological brother. The one who had left me, he was the first son. If only he was given more time with me. If only I have more time to get to know him.

Dear my long gone brother, I am such a small girl when you bid the forever goodbye. I can’t accept the fact that you left me, just like that. I am too naïve to understand about your cancer at that time.

After all these years, I kept remembering how you always mollycoddle me as your youngest sister. How I am so sissy when I am with you because you always spoilt me. Unlike the second brother who keeps bullying me, you always protect me from him and from everyone. Being such a small girl at that time; that is the only reason I could think of why I love you. But I truly love you, you know I truly do.

Dear brother, I am the one who had the least time with you, unlike my other siblings. If I had to envy them about something, that is the thing I will envy them of. If only I can spend more time with you, at least I am able to understand about your disease and I am able to tell you about my love to you.

My brother is my true guardian angel. My brother is my hero even when he only protects me for such a short time.

After you left, I am left to protect myself on my own. I learnt how to, and I am not as sissy as I once were when I am with you. No one can tell that I am the last child. Most people are surprised when they know about it because I didn’t act like a last child. I lost myself when I lost you brother. You brought away a part of me with you.But I can sometimes turn to be sissy when I met the right person. But those persons didn't stay so long. Not until now.

But he needs to know, that the short time he spent with me, is the most precious part of my life. A part of time I spent with my own brother, who had spent his last part of life, spoiling me. I know he did that knowing I will miss him badly, like now. At least he left me memories to hold on to. I miss you brother.It had been more than ten years, hasn’t it?

How I wish you are here to see that I am doing good now. That I had grown up. That I entered a good school who had taught me a lot. That I finished high school with dignity. That I can drive on my own now, even alone late at night.That hey! I entered a university in a course I have a passion in. That ma and pa are proud in what I chose to pursue. That even my heart is broken, I didn't yet do anything stupid. That you no need to worry, because I can take care of myself.

And really, you are the one who I am always thinking of.

this picture again. He's that big when he was gone and I am that small when I am left on my own.