Live my life,

Chapter 118,

2010-03-20T19:36:00.002+08:00

It's so awkward now. I don't even even feel like seeing you anymore. I can't handle the situation. It's awkward when someone that used to be my closest friend, had drifted apart until I feel like I barely know them.

May we succeed in whatever path we choose, may it be the right one, for us I pray day and night.May God lead us to where we are supposed to be. Amin.

My,,

2010-03-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

My Happy Pills, My Entourage.

Times when I forgot something important.

2010-03-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

In my hurry of packing things up and excitement of going home, I forgot to bring my note book where I did all the exercises in classes. Yes. I jot everything in one book. It's a full of knowledge book which I couldn't make it through classes without. So, I have a trouble in completing my exercises that lecturers gave in their last class. Sigh. I tried completing them, using my own memory from what I learnt in class. And am only able to do so for Statistics. For Accounting, I guess I still have to refer to my own book, to my own notes.

This means I have to go back to UiTM early tomorrow, so that I can complete my assignments first before going to the Battle of the Band at night. Not completing the assignments = No Battle.

Shit. How on earth could I left the damn book in my college's room?

~~TERPAKSA BALIK AWAL.DEM.~~

sigh.

2010-03-07T01:35:00.000+08:00

I don't know that hurting me seemed to be so much fun to you.

How I Felt; 1.

2010-03-06T23:46:00.002+08:00

As soon as the year started, some of my stories have been too ~~personal~~ to post on this blog. I don't share that much personal things here. Some things are better left unsaid.

People don't understand what had happened, what I had been through, how hard it was for me to cope and how do I adapt. They won't understand unless they put their feet in my shoes. Walk they way I walked, and talk they way I talked, accept what I accepted and cry the way I cried. It was hard. It was bitter. It was even ~~awful~~. No I am not asking for ~~sympathy~~. I am strong, on my own.

Everyone have flaws. I'm trying to adapt with it. With whatever flaws they have. Someone might be hot-headed or a snob, or a heart breaker, or a back stabber. But when it's love, it is love. You can't deny that. When it's love, you will learn to accept their flaws, and their flaws become beautiful to your eyes. It's their flaws that complete your identity and complete your flaws in a unique way.

It's hard for me to fall. But when I fall, I fall hard. Love doesn't come knocking on my door everyday. I hardly have any feeling to anyone easily. I'd like to keep love as a rare thing. I'd like to keep it's quality.

(Even a quiz in facebook knows)

I think all my life, had been about me proving myself to people around me. Proving that I am not stupid. Proving that I can get good grades too with my own way. All my life, I had been fighting with the people's perception that I am just a young, spoiled girl. I've been fighting to prove that they are wrong. Most of the time, I succeed. But sometimes, I just don't. I'm ~~tired~~ dude. I'm ~~tired~~. I want to do things my way now. I want to do things for myself, not for others.

TTYL pretty readers, Good Night.

Second Oath.

2010-03-02T08:36:00.000+08:00

Mulai arini, aku takkan percaya lagi jawapan kawan kawan aku dalam test/exam if aku actually ada idea tentang jawapan kepada soalan yang aku nak tiru tu. Adalah lebih baik aku salah dengan jawapan aku, daripada betul dengan jawapan orang.

I should trust and respect my own self.

Takde orang dilahirkan bodoh, takde orang dilahirkan terus jadik pandai.

Dan aku tahu, aku tak dilahirkan genius. But if I put my effort in my studies, God will be by my side, right?

And if I failed, there's always be a silver lining in whatever happened.

At least aku tahu, aku dah berusaha.

kan?

vision; 1.

2010-02-28T09:24:00.000+08:00

I do not eat;

2010-02-20T00:46:00.002+08:00

1. Aku tak makan anything yang ada cengkerang seperti kerang, kepah, lala mahupun oyster. Ntah ah. Aku nampak ianya disgusting lagi tidak menyelerakan.
2. Ferrero Rocher is so over-rated. TAK SEDAP. hershey kisses is love.
3. Aku tak suka makan kek. Bagi la kek mahal mana pun. Sikit boleh laa.
4. Tak makan hati, limpa apa2 je la organ dalaman lembu selain daging nye.
5. Believe it or not aku tak pernah makan kurma seumur hidup.
6. Tak suka kismis dan buah buahan kering. Prefer buah fresh.
7. Bubur Asyura, don't come near me. I don't like you.
8. I don't really like fast food. Kdg2 boleh.
9. Ikan percik pun tak suka. Ayam percik is <3 (woo lama xbt sign ni <3)
10. Semua jenis asam xmakan. I even loathe it.
11. Budu pun tak makan. Sorry. I'm a proud kelantanese, but don't associate it with budu ok? Budu doesn't represent anything.
12. Tak makan durian dan buah naga. Mknn berasaskan durian lglah tak makan.

Cuti = Orang Kahwin.

2010-02-16T17:02:00.000+08:00

Tadi aku pegi la kenduri dekat ngan umah aku kan. Staff mak aku. Aku malas nak pergi act, tp since aku da kua dari pagi sampai malam the day before, aku g je lah kenduri tu. Amek ati mak. HAHA. Then aku pun makan2 la. Aku tak makan banyak pun, since aku still kenyang dengan late breakfast aku.

Then turn out i have to sit next to a kid. Budak perempuan kot. kecik lagi dalam 3 tahun. I was like in a bad mood since I'm sweating so badly. Die tgk2 aku. Then aku pun,ape je budak ni. Aku pun tenung die dgn tenungan 'dem, ko pehal'?

Budak tu takut kot. Terus dia alih handbag mak die kat tepi dan duduk rapat dengan mak die. Makan pun teragak2. Skali suap, tgk aku. Pastu tgk aku lg. Aku tgk je la balik kt die. Ceh. Ape kes je kan tenung2 org.

Puas ati. Taw takutt? HAHAHA. dem ah. aku tak reti la nk layan budak, esp time aku penat.

oh btw i hate going to all the kenduri except that ianya kenduri someone important I actually know in person. I sweat like a pig each time I go to one. Dan tak suke bila lepas basuh tangan pun my hand still smells like the kenduri meal. Dem. I should bring my own hand sanitizer.

Now I know why I don't really enjoy fast food.

2010-02-14T21:17:00.000+08:00

tiap kali aku makan fast food, aku akan consume begitu banyak air kosong lepas tu. the throat akan jadi dahaga gila.

and I know, itu bermaksud there's so much sodium in the food itself. hmm.

things to do this on this short break.

2010-02-14T00:35:00.006+08:00

~~1. Revise. Revise to my view doesn't mean I have to be able to answer 100% correct of each subjects. It means I had revise, and try to understand each topics. Mistakes are inevitable, no? -~~ sort of done lahh. but not so faham yet +_+

~~Stats~~
~~Microeconomics~~
~~Management~~
~~Financial Accounting~~

2. ~~Go out for breakfast with high school cliques. Just like the old times.~~ - done

3. ~~Visit the dentist.~~ - still am so busy and scared :(

4. ~~Eat fast food. I haven't consume any since I entered 2nd semester. This is so weird.~~ -done

5. ~~Wakenabeb on the 15th.~~ - done

6. ~~Cook something. I'll figure out what, soon.~~ - done

7. ~~Correct errors I did in MGT asgment.~~ - done

8. ~~Go to the beach~~ - done

9. Shisha-ing, no? - no, not yet.

10. Nasi Sup Riverview, anyone? - ramai orangg. time free tutup pulak :(

11. Anak Keraks original, so long. Let's meet. - tak sempat.

12. ~~Get a haircut~~ - done

Oh, Valentine anyone? not for me, though.

CHIOW :)

An Oath to Myself.

2010-02-12T13:08:00.000+08:00

this time, I'll prove it. Yes, I will.

even if it means sacrificing all those nights, be it.

on being 17, (once)

2010-01-29T21:32:00.002+08:00

I used to say I hate school after I finished SPM. The truth is, I hate SPM, not the school. Okay I didn't like the idea of waking up at 6 a.m. too, but school life is so much relaxing. No repeat if you fail a subject, no extend if you didn't finish on time and no being dismissed if your CGPA is bad.

I still remember that me and my friends used to hang out a lot after school/on the weekend. Let's just count the final year, when we was 17. After school, we normally have a short break before our extra class started. Sometimes, we took lunch out of school and didn't make it for extra class. We were too late T-T And all the weekend, we had extra classes during weekend at the teacher's house. And we hardly just go to the extra's. Most of the time, we hang out before/after the class. Be it just chilling out, have a drink, or just, out somewhere, we always find time to go out.

The only class I enjoyed at school was Account. I love the teacher. I love the subject. (I only started to love Acc in form 5) I scored good marks for Acc. I like Acc way more than Phy/Chem. That's when I know what I want to be in the future. InsyaAllah.

School life especially during SPM year can be damn stressful. I would advice the juniors to know the balance. Take time to study, and find time to chill too. All time studying will only make you go crazy. ** except that you're the type who don't go out that much. (and like to study too)

There are times when we held a BBQ at Tok Bali. It was awesome. Yes it was. I pull an all nighters and had fun. Even when after the BBQ I slept like I am dead already. HAHA. And the times when we go for a short trip to Terengganu to accompany our friend to perform there. It was all spontaneous. We hardly plan anything.

I spent less time at home when I was 17. During weekdays, I only came home in the evening/night after extra class. And during weekends, I had extra classes everyday. Account class on Friday Morn. Physics on Friday Night. Add Math on saturday morning. And some more classes I couldn't recall. See? That's why I hate SPM. I barely get enough sleep because I have to stay up late at night to finish homeworks.

Senior year at school was good. Nobody dares to bully you. But this doesn't mean I did bully my juniors. I'm not the type who would fight with a them. Even when they are rude. I just don't give a fuck because I take it this way; that I am once a junior too, and I hate seniors who pick up fight with me. And I don't need ppl to hate me. We were once young too, why can't we understand them? Fighting for junior-senior thing is so childish. I have much more important things to focus on rather than that.

I still remember the only thing I wanted to do after SPM, is to get enough sleep. Hmm. But all the hard works, all the night oil burnt, all the extra classes, all the time spent, is so worth it. My SPM result was okay and not as bad as I thought it would be.

Being 17 is great. Being 17 means you should be more matured in your thinking. Make good decision, know what's good for you. Know what you want to do. And just be young and fun. Of course you make mistakes, even when you're 50, you make mistakes too, don't you?

There's no regrets. I take every mistakes as a lesson. Trying not to repeat the mistake, but if I did repeat it, I accept the fact that I'm wrong again. Let's learn one more time. =)

Busyyyyy,,

2010-01-28T03:25:00.001+08:00

wake up at 7 today. Got BEL class at 8. Got CTU class at 10. Got BEL class at 12. Break at 2-4. At 4 got Statistics. At 6 got music class. At 9 got choir. At 11 got back. Have to study for quiz tomorrow. And now I'm up at this so odd hours (3a.m). It's been a long winding day, and it is so hard to sleep now. I have to wake up at 7 again tomorrow cuz I have a quiz at 8.

whoa. if everyday busy begini, makanya xkan ade mase utk pikir bende bodoh2. hahaha. aku suka busy. :D

Death Is Just A Matter of Time.

2010-01-23T14:36:00.003+08:00

Found this picture on her facebook. It was unexpected. I did not know she was critical.

Al Fatihah, Shireen Amelin.

Dari Auf bin Malik ia berkata: Saya telah mendengar Rasulullah SAW - setelah

selesai shalat jenazah bersabda,"Ya Allah ampunilah dosanya, sayangilah dia,

maafkanlah dia, sehatkanlah dia, muliakanlah tempat tinggalnya, luaskanlah

kuburannya, mandikanlah dia dengan air es dan air embun, bersihkanlah dari

segala kesalahan sebagaimana kain putih bersih dari kotoran, gantikanlah

untuknya tempat tinggal yang lebih baik dari tempat tinggalnya, keluarga

yang lebih baik dari keluarganya, pasangan yang lebih baik dari pasangannya

dan peliharalah dia dari siksa kubur dan siksa neraka." (HR Muslim).

Aku rasa bodoh.

2010-01-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

Ye betul. Tu la perasaan aku sekarang. No. No I won't dread about that issue anymore. Cukuplah. I have much things to focus on now. Titik.

Aku kene fokus on study for this sem. Subjek subjek semakin susah. Lecturer makin hampeh. Kelas Statistics macam lancau. Argh. Byk yg aku kena ade self-effort. Gap antara kelas selalu panjang2. Aku menghadapi kesukaran utk bangun dari tidur dan pergi ke kelas. Sigh. Aku masih mencari titik tumpuan aku.

I learnt violin from Elle. Amek as ko-ku for this semester. Agak lambat kan mulanya. Susah dowh violin. I am such a slow learner, had to admit that Bukan dalam violin je slow, dlm study pun sama je. Kena byk byk praktis utk jadi better. My fingers sangatlahhh slow :( Other than that, violin adalah instrument muzik yg sedih bagi aku. The way it sounds. Hmm. IDK whether I'm going to take violin again for next sem. Igt nk fokus moooore on study. Yess I am such a nerd. :)

btw penang was so much fun. mane lg nk pergi next ya? Johor? anyone?

and yeah, this is part of ppl that make my life in UiTM better. ade lagii. tp dah ah. mls nk upload. ckp la kot. :)

One Note.

2010-01-21T20:24:00.000+08:00

Being strong is one thing. But faking it and trying to be strong is another.

It is two different thing. It is never the same.

and if you are the second type of ppl, yeah right. It sucks.

Hmm.

2010-01-15T02:57:00.000+08:00

it has been quite sometime. yup. I guess I'm too distracted with college. And lots of my to do list are not yet completed. Sigh. Hmm. What's new? Quite some things.

Hey it's pretty good here in UiTM. I was placed in a room with my good friends. Awesome. Bilik ini selalu sangat bising. Dan happy. Selalu buat aku xrasa lonely. Well, college life has started dan ia membuat aku sibuk. Classes, things to complete, things to revise, assignments. And I just realize that I actually love studying. It keeps myself busy. Keep myself from thinking about unnecessary things.

Anyway kelas agak bosan. Almost all girls. I mean, where all the boys had been? Extinction maybe. No. Bukan bosan sbb xde boys je. All girls pulak mostly yg jenis senyap. Ngantukk weh. I need time to settle down in this class. Tapi kwn2 yg best ade, so xkesahh ah.

There's a lot of pics but im so lazy to upload it here. Line broadband ini agak xbape laju la. Eh I got my broadband as a present for getting DL. Thanks Mama. I'll try my best to maintain the result.

My emotion had been through a hell of a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes I felt super strong that nothing can put me down, and sometimes I am at my lowest that a single word might break me. Kadang2 aku benci someone, tapi kadang2 aku sedar, aku yg bodoh. Sometimes I felt okay, sometimes tears just form behind my eyes. But I have not cried a single tear yet since coming to UiTM. Tapi untuk hari2 seterusnya, xtaw la.

Hmm. I miss home. Next week baru dpt balik. 3 minggu ini agak busy.

Okay I have to stop. It's almost 3 am now and I have to wake up at 7 tomorrow. So, till nxt time. :)

2009.

2009-12-31T18:04:00.000+08:00

I am closing 2009 with a goodbye. 2009 had teach me a lot. Made me realize a lot of things. Brought me closer to some old/new friends. And somehow, brought me far away from some.

Sometimes when someone we loved had found a new place where they feel more at home than when they are with us, we have to let them go. Let them discover their own happiness.

so,

farewell.

I told you that you will forget your own promises right? And you convinced me that you won't. You did, anyway. Next time, warn me when forever starts to end.

Black and White Photo Contest

2009-12-24T01:31:00.000+08:00

www.thecamerajunkie.blogspot.com

Harapan Dalam (Pengajian)

2009-12-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

1. Pointer mesti dijaga. Mesti. Aku da gtaw mama untuk tarik balik broadband aku (yang bakal dibeli next week) if pointer aku xsampai 3.0. But I know she expects me to get 3.5++. Grr. I know that the pointer is not everything, but aku perlukannye untuk smbg degree.

2. Aku nak buat degree cepat2. Nak buat degree lepas part 3. Jadi pointer yang baik sgt penting ok. Takut mengenangkan if aku ter-drop-out time degree, memang nothing ah. Have to start back with sijil SPM. NO. I cannot let that happen.

Pikir2 balik. Stress siot.

if aku xdapat apa yg aku tulis dekat atas ni, memang aku sentap gila babi doh. Jadi, berusahalah.

what about harapan dalam percintaan? HAHAHAHA FUCK FUCK FUCK. taknak. FUCKKKK. Benci. Malas. Lagi stress kalau dipikir. Jadi, abaikanlah.

how about you? what's your dream?

I hate it #1

2009-12-21T18:34:00.000+08:00

show me some effort, would you?

**although, kadang2 aku pun send mcm ni jugak =P

How To Stay Happy When You Are Single.

2009-12-18T12:23:00.000+08:00

1. Surround yourself with single friends. It's hard not to want a partner when you are surrounded with lovey-dovey couples and you are the only one alone. You may end up being in a relationship not for the fact you love your partner, you just need their companion. And that is not good.

2. Do not envy your friend who you think got the perfect boyfie. Ala maybe laki tu da la kacak, baik, bertimbangrasa, kaya, and the type you want to bring home and flaunt to your mama and said, "ma i noe u gonna love him". No. Jangan dengki oke. Laki tu mungkin nampak mcm perfect and great whatever. Tapi ade ke orang yang sempurna? Ade je flaws dia. And kalau kau dengki dkt your friend yang dpt partner perfect tu, kau buang masa. Nothing good is going to happen anyway. Someday you will meet your MR.Right. It is just the matter of time. Just be happy for your friend.

3. Banyakkan aktiviti. Aktiviti bersama rakan2. You know, if you are in a relationship tak semua benda kite boleh join dan buat kan. Let's say, would your partner allow you to go socializing gila2 with your friends. I mean, laki dan pompuan punya kawan. To most couples, even the other one allow korg have fun same kwn2 pun, lama2 ia akan mencetuskan pergaduhan.Bosan la. So to single people, go out.HAVE FUN. Go socializing, dance your heart out, go bbq-ing, go to a play, do movie marathon, get involved in sports and loads more. Bila lagi?

4. Take things positively. Let's say if something happened in your life and you just don't know where to go, who to talk to, whom can comfort you.. Don't take it as, uh, ni seme sbb aku single xde partner. Fak ah. You know what? What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. So be weak if you believe you are weak, and be strong if you want to. :)

5. Atasi kebosanan anda. Anda bosan takde partner? HEHE. If bosan, tak perlu pun couple. Just find someone untuk rapat dengan anda untuk satu2 masa. Macam, skandal lah kot. Fun sebab kau dengan skandal kau hanyalah sekadar skandal. Die takle buat kau macam partner dia. And if dia tny sejauh mne je relation korg ni, just ckp you tak ready lg untuk a serious relationship. Tapi kau akan have fun, sebab fun hanyalah benda yang kau perlu sebab kau bosan kan. Tak perlu pun seseorang yang bgtaw kau what to do.when to do.how to do. you know laaah if da kapel cmne kn.

6. Do Not Listen To Those Sad Tunes! Lagi2 if you have a bad experience in your past relationship. Sedih la weh. Delete je lagu2 sedih dan penuhkan dengan lappy/komp/mp3,4,5/phone/cd dlm kete dgn lagu2 gembira. It might sound so cliche, tapi2 kadang2 choice lagu pun mempengaruhi emosi kann :)

7. Be Happy For Your Ex(-es). Hidup xkan move on to a new phase if you still live in your past. Tak kesah ah past kau tu buruk gila dan sangat menyedihkan pun, life goes on. Tak kesah ah ex kau tinggal kau lepas kikis duit kau pun. Tak kesah ah ex kau ade pompuan lain dan kau hanya dpt tahu selepas 3 tahun. Tak kesah ah ex kau tinggalkan kau diambang perkahwinan sebab jumpa org lain. What past is past. Tutup lah buku lama dan bukalah buku baru. Kegembiraan xkan datang kalau kau xbenarkan dia masuk. Tips ketujuh ini turut ditujukan kepada diri sendiri yang kadang2 pikir jgk bende2 lama neh.

~~tips2 adelah dari pengalaman sendirik.~~
That's it. Single people, be happy! :)

Say, Typical Lady.

2009-12-13T20:26:00.002+08:00

I'm the type of person who forgive, but never forget.

I may tell you I already forget what one particular person did to me, but that is not true. I actually remember, only I am lazy to tell the story and open up. So hurt me, you will be forgiven, but I will never forget what you did.

Not that I am the type who love revenge. No.

Karma is a bitch and I let my unseen bitch do it's job.

On Why I Have to Have a Stable Income (In The Future)

2009-12-13T00:32:00.001+08:00

I cannot rely on my other half. Even if I get married to someone rich (IF, I repeat IF), that does not promise me a great future. And same goes to if I get married to someone poor. Bile2 je laki tu bleh tinggal aku untuk pompuan lain. I've seen so many real-life-situation where bila dah steady, lelaki senang2 je buat hal. I cannot blame them if they said the new women je yg buat diorg happy. If they think that is the best for them?

After all, would you want to force someone to be with you if dia dah takda hati dengan perhubungan itu? You can try to fix things up, but if it doesn't work?

Someone said, hati manusia ni bile2 je boleh berubah and I believe in that. I believe I cannot make it through polygamy/divorce if I do not have a stable income. Memang ade nafkah, kalau laki kau nak bayar la, tapi kalau dia tak nak bayar? Nak ke berhempas pulas memintak dgn lelaki yg xperlu kau, yang ade pompuan lain, yang tinggalkan kau. Ade maruah kan?

Sape nak bayar kete, bills, dan keperluan hidup? You can say money is not everything, tapi open your eyes, dalam dunia skang ni, semua nak duit beb. Order air suam kat kedai pun dah 50sen (tak semua la). But you get the picture right?

Sebagai perempuan, kalau bercerai ade anak, mesti la die nak custody anak2. Sape nak tgk anak die dibesarkan pompuan yg hancurkan marriage dia? Perempuan je paham hati perempuan. Without a stable income, susah beb nak dapat custody. It's cruel, but you have to live in reality.

Kau boleh cakap your partner xkan sekali2 tinggalkan kau. Like love is great, love is forever, he's the one, he's the true love,, whatever. Things might be perfect now, but can you ever predict the future? Love might just come, and go. Who knew? Who are we to deny?

It's better to be prepared.

You might say I am too young to talk about this. But boy, was I glad that I realized it this early? So that I can try to put my best in my education, in order to have a promising future. InsyaAllah.

so babe2 sekalian, belajarlah selagi masih ade peluang ni (ditujukan untuk diri sendiri, dan kwn2 perempuan)

Result Exam.

2009-12-11T12:49:00.004+08:00

oke.aku xtaw nk start cmne. ok kte start ngan alhamdulillah. so you get the idea right? result exam aku okay la not bad.

(klik untuk tumbesaran)

am I surprised? agak ahh. AIS yg aku xtaw ape pun dpt A-. But Maths okay la, aku tak tido 2 malam kot cramming all those formulas tu. After all, it's all worth it. English dan Account? Ok je.

CTU dapat B? Blame my poor carry mark dan bad attendance towards the end of the semester. Aku tak suka baca buku act. +_+

3.72 is great enough. And to those yang result xmemberangsangkan sangat,still got next semester kan? Try harder.

Aku tak beli buku pun. Ada sebijik je buku English. Rasa membazir kalau beli mahal2 guna 3-4 bulan je (bapak kedekut). Bleh je survive, pandai2 la nak idup.

Aku selalu perasan, aku kalau bab2 belajar ni selalu agak bernasib baik. Tapi, kalau bab kapel ke memang malang ahh. Tapi aku bersyukur je. I let go of something, but God gave me something great to be happy for.

This might sound like a snob, but I will try my best to get ANC. In the future, hopefully.

some of u might say, alah berlagak ahh bdk ni stakat 3.72 amek akaun je kot. ACCOUNT KAN SENANG?!??!. stakat budak part 1 xpayah ckp byk.

I don't give a fuck. Kalau senang semua dpt 4 flat kot.

post diakhiri dengan tips2 untuk mendapat dekan ditujukan kepada diri sendiri,rakan2 yg sdg belaja, dan bakal2 junior.

#1. Make sure jaga carry mark. It's the only thing that can help you in the final. Carry mark low, jangan harap nak dapat A.

#2. Be nice to the lecturers, tanya kalau tak paham. BUT DONT BE SUCH A SUCK UP! Lecturer pun xsampai ati nak bagi fail kalau die tgk kau rajin.

#3. Attend classes. Reason lecturer kau buat kelas, nak bagi kau pandai. Cmne kau nk pandai kalau selalu tuang? (aku pun kadang2 tuang jgk)

#4. Keluar la have fun. Jangan study 24-7 je. Stress nanti. Just know how to balance it.

#5. Study. Kalau sendiri malas, sape lg yg boleh tlg kan?

** Mission 15, accomplished.

*mama this is for you. terima kasihh sebab datang ambil tiap2 minggu. :D

December Quote.

2009-12-03T20:08:00.005+08:00

" I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate it when they are right, you believe lies so that eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. "

-Marilyn Monroe

Good things are drifting away. But I believe more good things are on its way. I can't help not to feel sad,though. Nobody gets me the way you do.

:)

** image from, www.deviantart.com

Mission 12, accomplished.

2009-11-30T18:38:00.004+08:00

Ingat x post before ni. Yang pasal mission aku before June 2010? Aku da complete kan satu, untuk donate blood. weee. ini bukti oke.

Donate dekat Mall. At first aku takde courage sgt, then kawan Elle, Ali gtaw die nk donate. Aku pun mcm, jom!. Xnak jugak kalau sorg2, kekok ouh, ramai orang kan. Then ktorg g donate sama2 ah. Die snap pic aku, aku snap pic die. Sama2 first time, excited lebih weh.

Anyway donating my blood was quite an experience, tengok darah sendirik 1 bag. Donate 350 ml je (minimum) sebab doc tu cakap level haemoglobin (HG) aku cukup2 makan jer, 12.5. Berat pun tak la banyak sangat. Die advice suh makan daging, kerang, bayam banyak2. Eiu. Semua yang aku tak suka, no wonder la HG aku rendah.

Anyway to those yang xpenah donate tu, aku nasihatkan donate la. Tak sakit pun, kalau takut, gtaw nurse to yang u takut, she will be more gentle to you. Lagipun if you xmampu derma, for example u underweight or HG rendah, they will not force you to donate. Kalau pengsan ke ape, diorang jugak yg susah kan. Oh, girls do not go when you are on your period. Masa tu kan da banyak lose blood, so donating your blood will only make your body weak.

I hope my blood goes to someone who needs it. Skang ni bile2 je leh eksiden kan then perlu masukkan darah semua. Mane taw someday aku yang perlu blood tranfusion ni. What goes around, comes around.

OTK (ohtuhanku), I made a good deed today. Maybe my small contribution can save a life right?

:)

I feel good today.

dah. pening kepala la. nak rest.

My-OTK-i'm-going-to-accomplish-this

2009-11-29T10:24:00.014+08:00

**updated 18/03/10

~~1. Travel ke suatu tempat dalam Malaysia. No, not KL. Bosan ah. Aku nak explore negara sendiri dulu. Tak perlu ramai2. 2-3 orang sudah.~~ DONE. Penang Trip.

2. Uat least always, always dapat at least B untuk quiz/test SEMESTER 2. Quiz dan Test sangat penting dan sangat membantu dalam final.

3. Beli sesuatu yang boleh diguna setiap hari, ada fungsi, dan berguna. I'll figure out what this thing soon okay. No, not a bag, not shoes too. Something more than that.
4. I have to refrain myself from getting into a relationship. Aku ada reason untuk ini. Biar aku sendiri je tahu. And I know, somewhere out there, there are people who knows why.
5. Remain 48kg on the scale. - mission cancelled. it's illogical. i can only weigh 49, the lowest.
6. Habiskan baca The Secret and For One More Day, seriously. I wonder why I took so long reading it.
~~7. Remember to bring my own bag when I go shopping.~~
8. Clean up my wardrobe, collect things yang masih boleh diguna dan donate it to the orphans.
9. Belajar masak steak. Yes. (rujuk misi ke-5) HAHA
10. Involve myself dalam sports. I'll figure out what. (rujuk misi ke 5 dan 9)
~~11. Go movie marathon at the cinema. 3 movies in a row? Kena tunggu betul2 free la.~~ done. Paranormal Activity, Treasure Hunter, Old Dogs :)

12. Donate my blood baby. I WILL. Kena pastikan diri sihat. Kalo x, nnt haemoglobin tak cukup subur untuk pendermaan, mcm dulu. Dan aku tak nak donate kalau xbetul2 sihat, nnt pengsan woh. - DONE. 30/11/2009.
13. Learn how to swim done 31/12/2009. practice makes perfect!
~~14. Learn how to ride a bike. Seriously xtahu!~~
15. Dekan Part 1. - DONE. 10/12/2009

16. Touch a snake.
17.Belaja masak ayam sweet sour. - Done.30/12/2009
~~18. Learn how to play a musical instrument.~~

and the list goes on.

2009-11-22T23:40:00.003+08:00

have u ever felt so empty? like urself being hurt too much by someone that in the end you felt nothing? even when the person keep hurting you more, more and more. even when the person keep doing things that they know will hurt you, and yes they intend to hurt you, in the first place.

but yeah, in the end you feel nothing.
empty.
not happy. not sad. not content. not hurt. no. there's just nothing inside you.

heartless. tick. hati batu. tick.

aku xnak ada perasaan. menyusahkan.

Sangap.

2009-11-19T11:47:00.002+08:00

ye. aku sangap benda ni.

yea right it didnt look so yummy here. but believe me sedap ok. haih.

next week pegi kl. nk pegi ke. ke tanak pegi. nak.xnak.nak.xnak.
im so lazy to go anywhere. serius.

p;s - aku dah okay skang. haha. ok i learnt that your mind, can overpower everything :)

I passed by. And, I learnt something.

2009-11-13T17:43:00.003+08:00

Some people told me that friends come and go. Love comes and go, too. At first, I hesitate of believing this. But after some time, when I looked back in life and think of it, I had to agree.

You might think that friendship lasts forever. That was partly true. You might find yourself being close to someone at one particular time, and somehow at one time in the future, you both drifted apart. You both are not as close as you once were or, sadly, not being friends anymore.

When you are not as close as before, the friendship knot is still there, still hanging on there. Good for you. But when you both decided not to be friends, sadly, the 'friendship knot' had disappeared. Unfortunately, that's pretty sad.

It's sad. But that's reality.

Maybe, one particular person was not meant to accompany you through the journey of life forever. But, appreciate it as the person had once lighten up your life, making your smile wider.

A friend come to teach you something about life. About the journey. And when their tasks is done, off they go. At that time, you might drift apart from them.

A friend might stay for quite a while, and some, might just pass for a quick visit.

Think about it friends, think about your friends who had drifted apart with you. They did teach you something about life right? Making you happy, at least once. Or, making you sad. And sometimes, friends might hurt their friend, yeah. But that's normal.

When I looked back and remember about friends who had hurt me, I realize that it hurts only for the moment. I had long forgave them, although I cannot treat them the way I used to.

The same thing applied to love. Yeah.

Sometimes, when it was not meant to be, you have to just let it pass. To love is not always to own. Believe in your fate, hope for the best, make a wish and let fate lead you to where you should be.

Haih. I wrote this entry, deeply from my heart.

:)

The, Ex Tag.

2009-11-12T01:08:00.006+08:00

Who was your first?:
ini, secret.

Wish you were still with them?:
No. Still good friend thou, we occasionally contact with each other now and then.

Was your first love your "first":
yes. It was one of the most beautiful chapter in my life.

Do you think you ever get over your first?:
yes. It’s all in my mind. I only have to put it in my mind, try very hard. And I will succeed. I thought ignoring things I care for was hard, it was. Until I prove it wasn't.

What song makes you think of them?:
a lot actually. We have a lot of songs. Goodbye to you – Michelle Branch. M2M – The Day You Went Away HAHAHA. A Fine Frenzy – Almost Lover. Cinta Pertama – Bunga Citra Lestari HAHAHA. Takkan Terganti – Dea Mirela. Zee Avi – Someone You Used To Know. AND A LOT MORE. Told you, first love requires a lot of songs. Ye saye pun jiwang jua. +_+

What song would you dedicate to him/her?:
Gwen Stefani – Cool hey I will be happy for you If you can be happy for me. I mean it. You know how much a friendly ex I am kan. I miss you. But, life goes on. And, if it takes sacrificing you to be where I am now, then be it.

What song is on your profile and why?:
myspace. Uh. Sheila on 7. Cliché as it may seem. But its all about my first love. And I put it several months ago.

Favorite hair color for a guy/girl?:
black. Yes. Black.

If you could go anywhere right now where would it be?:
Tasik Situ Patengan Indonesia.

Would you bring the Ex or the current?:
I do not have a boyfie for the time being. But I won’t bring my ex anyway. I know he’s happy with his CURRENT now. And I am happy for him. No bitter feeling at all okay. I can go alone. Lebih tenang.

Do you wish the Current was more like the EX:
I do not have a current boyfie. But if I have one, I would want some of the EX quality in him. some only.

Do you wish the EX was more like the current?:
...

Were you the dumper or the dumpee?:
we decided that we had to part. We had to.

If u were the dumper, why did u do it?:
doesnt matter it's u, or it's me. we both had to part. i repeat, had to.

Regret It?:
there’s a lot of regrets in the first love story. that's why its so hard to let you go.

If you were the dumpee would you take him/her back?:
depends on situation

Do you wish him/her well or pain?:
the best.

Ever get over him/her?:
yes thank God. Thanks to friends. Thanks to the next boyfie. Thanks to me. Thanks to him. For making me stronger.

Think you'll ever get back together?:
No, certainly not.

Do you want him/her back?:
no. we are better off this way.

Have you seen the Ex with a new guy/girl?:
yes. Several of them. Some of them get along with me very well. I’m happy for him.

How did it make you feel?:
at first it hurts like someone stabbed my chest. But soon I’m used to it and accept it that we are not meant for each other. Experience, experience is always the best teacher.

Would you take him/her back?:
no. even I have no boyfie now. But taking him back? No.

tag :
pejey.

temy.

kak ya? jum? da lama xbt tag kan.

terbuka kepada sesiapa saja yg nak.
:)

Dreadful Final Exam.

2009-11-12T00:51:00.008+08:00

My dreadful final ended anyway. Yeah it felt good that something stressful had passed and I can sleep 14 hours non stop everyday without feeling guilty. My last paper ended on Monday and I reached home on Tuesday morning. I packed my things all night. Barang banyak gila kot. What do you expect from me? Azlina tumpangkan her barang in my house too. Even she’s not sure whether she will be pursuing at Machang or Melaka next semester.

Secretly I hope she would not go. I am going to miss her.

So how my final did went? Let’s start with the first paper, English. Not bad lah. I tried my best. My carry mark for my this subject are quite good. And I scored highest in the class. Alhamdulillah. Thanks Madam Bahirah, for proving that I do not need to be such a suck up to score a high mark.

Next, paper Agama. My carry mark for this subject wasn’t good. I didn’t read the instruction in my midterm. I sucked at that paper, which resulted in my bad,bad carry mark. I only scored better in my presentation and assignment. Masa final, perut sangat sakit. Dan aku tak taw ape yang aku meraban. Haih. I gained something, but I lost something.

Basic of Computer in Accounting. Before final aku stress gila. There’s a lot to cover. Banyak kena hafal. But Alhamdulillah la the exam wasn’t so bad. But I expected low carry mark from my lecturer for this subject, sebab aku selalu tuang kelas dia. Iskk.

Untuk financial Accounting? Like hell susah gila gila. Carry mark okay. Tapi final? Mcm. Haih. Susah gila. I don’t know what to expect. But I hope for the best. Yeah.

Dan last paper, Mathematics. Before exam pun aku stress sgt. 2 nights tidur kul 6 pagi. Kejap online kejap study. Entah arh. But I tried my best untuk cover everything. And I hope for the best. Hopefully.

Abes je paper maths aku rasa cam ade satu batu besar diangkat dari kepala aku. Baru rasa bebas, rasa ringan.

Spoke with my mum just now. dan aku gitaw dia kalau aku dpt dekan, aku nk broadband. kalau la. aku rasa aku xdapat pun. xrepeat pun dah kira bagus. huhu. it's my choice act, utk mintak broadband kalauu dpt DL. sebab. sebab aku rasa benda tu melalutkan. kalau result tak bagus,aku tak layak kot. lebih baik fokus study * WAH NERDY.

Stop talking about FINAL ALREADY.

Okay dah. I want to cut my hair. Pendek. Ok not that short. But sort of short. Why? Bosan la rambut ni. Nak colour jugak. But warna yg tak obvious la. What do you expect people? I study in UITM oke. Even ramai je kaler rambut gold streaks siap. But tak nak lah. I do not want to be like that. Soon. Yes soon. I'll update once I did something to my hair. :)

Last day for this sem in UiTM. It's 7.45 a.m and it's really hazy and cold here. Suasana bajet sayu kalau nk balik. CEHH.

Combination barang aku dan azlina. Barang Lina 4 jer kot. Beat me baby, BEAT ME.

HAHAHA.

Sometimes I am this, Sometimes I am that.

2009-11-02T18:41:00.000+08:00

sometimes I am happy. sometimes I am not. sometimes I want to be at home, sometimes I want to run far away. sometimes I want you here, sometimes I wish you are gone by now. sometimes I wish I am a computer that I can delete my memories and empty it in my recycle bin. sometimes I miss my ex badly that I even want him back, but there are times when I wish him all the best with his life and I will be honestly happy of what makes him happy. sometimes I want more, sometimes I am content. sometimes I miss you, sometimes I don't. sometimes I want to be alone, sometimes I am happy with a company. sometimes I miss my family, sometimes I do not. sometimes I want to cry, sometimes not even a tear can form behind my eyes. sometimes I remember, sometimes I forget. sometimes I wish you won't leave, sometimes I don't even want you to exist.

sometimes I love my cat, sometimes I hate it. sometimes my back ache like hell, sometimes it does not. sometimes you hurt me, sometimes you make me laugh. sometimes I can't sleep, the other time I just sleep without intention. sometimes I want to disappear from you, sometimes I know I need you.

yeah there's so many sometimes. there are so many memories too..
I guess I will let my fate lead me to where I should be. This is the road. I am certain that I am in the right path. I believe that if it is meant to be, it will be.

dah la. aku tak nak pikir ape ape lagi. ~~not even a thing.~~

p;s- aku doakan kebahagiaan semua orang. even it might kill me. =)

99

2009-10-26T12:22:00.002+08:00

so while packing my things, i asked myself, do i really want to go back to that dreadful place?

no.

but,,

i have to.

yeah. i have to.

Pentipu.

2009-10-22T23:49:00.003+08:00

aku benci bila orang tipu aku. benci. sebab. sebab aku percaya. aku sangat senang percaya, esp dengan orang yang baik dengan aku. tapi aku susah percaya strangers, dan orang yang tak rapat.

pokoknya, aku tak suka ditipu. jujur boleh?
i pick truth than lies.

beritahu je yang benar. aku boleh terima. mungkin mula2 aku marah, tapi semua tahu kan. aku marah tak lama. mane aku taw hold grudges. dan mungkin, aku tak marah pun. sebab aku tahu, kau jujur.

jujur la okay? best sangat ke menipu?

term tipu sunat, tak payah salah guna.

New Template, New.

2009-10-22T15:44:00.010+08:00

I refuse to blog few times before until I change my template. I personally hate previous template. But, since I got no time to change it so, I just endure the ugly template lah. Terukk.

I liked this one better, although it looks too girlish for me. But it's better, yes. Better. Ada warna oren, my fav. Even my mouse, my hair clip, my pouch, my phone case pun warna oren. Tapi aku tak suka baju oren. Tapi kat blog ni not so orange-ish la. Peach. Lebih kurang aaaaa kot.

Tapi nanti kene letak balik list blog, to do list, followers and etc. Lepas letak this template, terdelete dowh.

Minggu ni okay je. The week starts with test akaun, and I think I did okay in it. Indeed, I do. Markah pun okay saje. Auw happy =). Minggu ni minggu last kelas, dan aku sungguh malas. Pergi kelas hari isnin dan rabu sahaja. Lecturer AIS mencari sebab aku dah 3x berturut2 tak pegi kelas dia. What the? bosan wehh kelas dia. betullll. Memang ye saye sengaja tak pergi.

Harap2 carry mark AIS tak la sakit sangat. Sigh. Mengharap jugak weh dekat carry mark, sebab final belum tentu lagi kan. Carry mark untuk English best je. Thanks madam! Aku taw aku tak perlu try too hard, atau menjadi pengampu lecturer untuk dapat carry mark best. Tapi carry mark CTU aku macam sial. Walawehhhh kenapa la time test aritu aku tak baca arahan baik2. Terus jadi banyak salah. Haih. Have to work hard on final CTU nanti.

Then, for the first time aku tak sedih sangat nak balik UiTM. Selalu mata berair kalau nak balik, tapi kali ni okay je. Tenang je. Macam, busy sangat, tak sempat nak fikir la pasal sedih2 ni. Wah kalau macam ni semangat tiap minggu kan bagus.

Some pictures of this week punya hidup dekat sane. dan some pics out dengan primary schoolmates. dulu semua kecik2 je , skang semua dah besa besa kan :)

aku suka Restoran Cherita neh. Cosy. So homely. Tak ramai orang jadi best nak bergila-gilaan.

akram dan bak. emmm mane pic korg eh. ha ade2.

okay next pic time makan kek kat foodcourt.birthday cik elle.

Happy 18th birthday Elle! :)

Seterusnya bergembira di Majlis Hari Raya UiTM. +_______+

jarang2 kot dapat naik bas ekslusif ni +_+

sungguh, tak bermoral. tapi apekan daya. mmg tong sampah yang cukup tak disediakan pun.

that's all for now. nak edit layout lagi. tata :)

On leaving 17. And saying hello to 18.

2009-10-17T02:00:00.002+08:00

aku da cukup umur. happy birthday to my own self. 18. da boleh beli rokok wtf? hahaha. tak tak. da boleh check in. da boleh donate blood without parents' permission. dan ape lagi? freedom? tak kot. mcm biasa je.

no more being 17 on 17. or being 16 on 16. you got me?

my calculus test suck and seriously, i dont want to talk about it. aku hanya mampu hantar kertas dengan tulisan sorry kepada lecturer. haha. tp aku jawab jgklah. its not that i know nothing about calculus.

and friends, thanks for the air gas yg basi itu. sejuk gila. busuk. hahaha. but really i love you guys. pictures? coming lah ya. i'm too tired to upload.

goodnight everyone :)

happy? i am. content? more than.

Sila Insaf T.T

2009-10-13T14:57:00.006+08:00

Online dalam library. wifi library xdpt ntah nape so guna wifi uitm. WTF xdpt buka facebook lalu tensi. tensi tahu.

Final dah dekat dan aku belum study. currently pun aku sedang ponteng. HAHA. tak tak aku ada MC.

My mom would not be around on my birthday. And a few of my good friends would not be here either. Busy dengan tuntutan hidup masing2 kot. Even aku pun busy.I have a test on my birthday. Calculus. Malam pulak tuh. Spoil, tp cuba bersabar. Biarlah. Dah besar kot, should not make a fuss about this.

It's not I want to celebrate pun, but I just hope there's nothing too stressful like a calculus test will fall on my birthday. Pfft. Dah lah. Did I mention not to treat my birthday like a birthday? Rilek2 jer. Wishes are more than enough.

Sekarang memang malas macam lancau. haih. Kene siapkan presentation AIS, complete kan Simulation, prepare test calculus, read utk quiz AIS, prepare test on financial statements+bank recon on FAR. And the most damn thing, final sialllll. Aku rasa macam kena struggle gila babi kalau betul2 aku nak dapat dekan. tu pun belum tentu dapat.

untuk pengakhiran entri kali ini, disertakan snapshot jadual exam dengan ucapan semoga insaf dan mula study.

haih, tensi!!

94, the update.

2009-10-10T08:07:00.020+08:00

I haven't blog about what happened in my life for a while. Not that hidup aku tak de ape je yang berlaku, it's that internet slow di Machang yang menyebabkan semua ini terjadi. pfffft.

By the way I am in somewhere now where the internet connection is awesome and I could not be happier. Hey my birthday falls on 16/17 next weekend. Tapi aku ada test calculus on that day. wtf lah. And I do not feel like celebrating my birthday, not even one bit, no, not at all. So let's pretend that my birthday is just like the other days, like any other normal days. Wishes are okay, but I do not want to celebrate. Boleh kan?

But I hope my mom remembers my birthday and bought me a new novel. Just like the past years. Auw mama, I miss you ;(

Okay I'm going to upload some pics. Let's take a look.

On hari raya. Rimas dow pakai kebaya +_+

During bulan puasa, aku bertudung pergi kelas. Hopefully someday full time tudung lah. Not separuh2 like now.

First time pakai kain sarung seumur hidup. Ikat punyalah hancur. Kak Ya and Temy laughed at me; and helped me to wear it properly-thanks!

Rara cut my hair. Before potong, macam rasa fringe gnie xsesuai ngan aku. Lots of people ckp jangan potong for it might not be suitable with me. But I am really bored dan membuat keputusan untuk take the risk. It turns out good; and I like the change I made.

On our way to the waterfall.

Waterfall had always been my place. It's always so calming there. I can sit and smile watching this while being soaked in the water. It's always so cool, even when the weather is scorching. I really love to be here, even alone. :)

Happy birthday Rara. Aww I love you. And thanks Nafis for the 7-up and sands on my head. pfffft.

First time makan kat Kenny Rogers KB. I didn't go before because some people said it did not taste as good as yg dekat KL, or somewhere else. I tried anyway on that day, and it turned out okay je. Tak la tak sedap, sama je.

Birthday rara lagi. Auwww :)

Next, kami on diet so this is what we do in most of the evenings in UiTM. Jogging! Hilang stress aku dowwh :)

Oh, some random pic when I slept in the class.

and some random pics of my shampoo i susun on the top of my shelf. semua belum sampai separuh guna lagi.

Kereta turbo Pax yang terbaik.

Bajet belajar calculus konon. Fail. HAHA.

This is what we cooked and ate yesterday. One word; terbaik :D
Aku tak penah suka makan spageti kat kedai, sebab (okay this might sound like a snob) aku selalu rasa spageti aku buat sendiri lagi sedap. Untuk aku lah. To some of you? I don't know

My over-grown pony.

Ini Mimi, adik rara. kami macam sisters. HAHAHA.

I cut the over grown pony dekat salon. ah. Better.

Moreh session.

I looked like a round watermelon here but heck, who cares. I am happy.

I think there's a lot more pics I did not upload this time. pfft I am so lazy. Biarlah. Yang ni je sudah ar. mm. I'll upload video telurkan rara nanti. I did not have it in my pc. And I lost my pendrive. :(

I'm so glad that I am able to be happy.
even when I am missing someone, so badly.

The Issue of Crying.

2009-10-08T02:15:00.003+08:00

I could not roll down any tears. I could not remember how to cry. Or maybe, I secretly shield myself from crying. I hate to cry. I do. Somehow, I can feel that at certain times, tears formed behind my eyes. But still, the tears refuse to drop.

In my blanket late at night, I lie down still. Looking at things around me, wondering when will I cry again? What will cause me to cry? And, when I eventually cry again, I'm pretty sure I will cry myself out loud. Letting out all my emotions that I kept inside, all these while.

So, I am scared to cry. For it might hurt. Badly.

backpacking around life.

2009-10-02T22:29:00.010+08:00

In these few days, I had realized a lot of things. I really want to write a long entry, but it's hard to describe things that are too deep to be expressed.

Seriously, I cannot be any happier. I don't even know what sadness mean by now. Sometimes I'm scared thinking of what if my happiness are snatched away from me. I don't know how to live with tears. I could not imagine that.

I realized how perfect nature was made by God. I could smile alone looking at those hills, green trees, waterfalls and etc. I don't want to die yet. I want to enjoy those beautiful sights, for it is the most calming thing for me.

I think I had found what I'm searching for. The time alone that I spent own my own really had taught me something and made me see a lot of things. Those are things I would not be able to see if I am with someone else. It was what was meant by people who said, 'search for who you really am'.

I love my mother. Nothing could beat the love from her. The comfy and secured feeling when we are around each other is the thing I always miss when I am away from home. I do not know how to live if God took her away from me. I believe no one will ever love, accept and care for me the way she did. Thanks mother. I love you.

As what Nami asked in her blog; Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? I know I want to be happy, I do not need to be right. But if it was what is right to my family eyes, then I will choose to be right.

I think I know.

I don't think everyone will understand. Yeah.

** comments unabled.

Simptom Simptom anda Sebenarnya Tak Nak Balik UiTM

2009-09-26T04:08:00.007+08:00

Bukak aircond tak nak off sebab fikir nnt dekat uitm da takde aircond. So pasang puas2, nanti rindu.
Online sampai lupa diri sebab dekat sana nanti aku takde broadband. Dapat online jarang2, speed pun.. haih. Dan kat rumah je boleh online free, laju pulak tuh. Boleh bukak youtube dan games dgn gembira.
Air mata rasa macam nak bertakung je bila teringat kena balik lepas ni dah.
Tiba2 rasa emo. Tak nak layan semua orang. Protes, tapi xleh buat ape. Mengalami kemurungan.
Mula berfikir ape patut dibuat untuk mengurangkan rasa sedih.
Berfikir makanan ape nak dimakan sebelum balik prison tu. Certainly, makanan yang takde dekat sana.
Mengunjungi salun untuk menghilangkan stress.
Mula buka buku mengenangkan ada byk quiz dan test minggu ni.
Mesej rakan2 tanye bila korang nak balik wehhh. Supaya bila tiba, tak keseorangan. Seorang diri sampai di sana memang sedih.

haih. aku xtaw la org lain. tp aku xde nafsu lgsg nak balik uitm. takde ape pun dekat situ.

**benci. letih taw, letih.

mulai malam ni, view ni la dpt dilihat dari tingkap. *credit to temy.

Saye (sepatutnya), study.

2009-09-25T17:05:00.003+08:00

Bajet la kan nak study FAR untuk adjustments. Lupa nak bwk balik past years so guna yg soft copy from site UiTM. Kene la study mengadap laptop.

And this is how, it turned out to be.

walaupun penat (rujuk livita) masih semangat. lihat kertas2 bertaburan dan plastik biskut. bajet xsempat makan lalu makan sambil study.

stress la soalan susah. bukak facebook jap. layan kuiz diri sendiri dimane tade org bole pass.

bosan facebook, layan chatting.

terus layan the sims 3. okay dah. memang tak guna.

wtf?

sedar diri wehhh. esok nak balik UiTM dah. Maths xsiap, FAR pun belum master. Haih.
dan, takle kua la weh mcmni.

From Today On, 23/09/2009

2009-09-23T20:02:00.005+08:00

Aku tanak hidup dalam kesedihan. Okay? Big girls don't cry. And I am big enough to not to. So please put away those slow beat tunes, aku tak boleh dengar la weh.

Aku nak live life to the fullest. And to those yang sedih sebab single, jangan la bodoh weh. Best gila kot single. Freedom tahu? Tinggal nk approval parent je, tak perlu approval bf. Ade bf pun ape je, semua xleh buat. Aku tak nak tua2 nanti menyesal tak buat itu, tak buat ini. Dan aku pasti, aku tak suka hidup diikat.

Aku penah je hidup diikat oleh bf, boleh je kalau nak buang ikatan tu sendiri, tapi kalau aku buang, aku yang sakit. Faham? To top it off, tak best tahu? Dah ah, aku dah serik.
Aku percaya pada destiny aku, so I will let it lead me to where I should, and supposed to be. =)

btw semua bloggers ckp pasal raya, aku malas nak post psl raya. bosan tawww. bukan raya aku yg bosan, topik tu yg bosan.

anyway, SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE.

* pfft I should study.

This Is To You, My Late Brother.

2009-09-17T20:57:00.011+08:00

I once had biological brothers too. Yes I had, now I only have a biological brother. The one who had left me, he was the first son. If only he was given more time with me. If only I have more time to get to know him.

Dear my long gone brother, I am such a small girl when you bid the forever goodbye. I can’t accept the fact that you left me, just like that. I am too naïve to understand about your cancer at that time.

After all these years, I kept remembering how you always mollycoddle me as your youngest sister. How I am so sissy when I am with you because you always spoilt me. Unlike the second brother who keeps bullying me, you always protect me from him and from everyone. Being such a small girl at that time; that is the only reason I could think of why I love you. But I truly love you, you know I truly do.

Dear brother, I am the one who had the least time with you, unlike my other siblings. If I had to envy them about something, that is the thing I will envy them of. If only I can spend more time with you, at least I am able to understand about your disease and I am able to tell you about my love to you.

My brother is my true guardian angel. My brother is my hero even when he only protects me for such a short time.

After you left, I am left to protect myself on my own. I learnt how to, and I am not as sissy as I once were when I am with you. No one can tell that I am the last child. Most people are surprised when they know about it because I didn’t act like a last child. I lost myself when I lost you brother. You brought away a part of me with you.But I can sometimes turn to be sissy when I met the right person. But those persons didn't stay so long. Not until now.

But he needs to know, that the short time he spent with me, is the most precious part of my life. A part of time I spent with my own brother, who had spent his last part of life, spoiling me. I know he did that knowing I will miss him badly, like now. At least he left me memories to hold on to. I miss you brother.It had been more than ten years, hasn’t it?

How I wish you are here to see that I am doing good now. That I had grown up. That I entered a good school who had taught me a lot. That I finished high school with dignity. That I can drive on my own now, even alone late at night.That hey! I entered a university in a course I have a passion in. That ma and pa are proud in what I chose to pursue. That even my heart is broken, I didn't yet do anything stupid. That you no need to worry, because I can take care of myself.

And really, you are the one who I am always thinking of.

this picture again. He's that big when he was gone and I am that small when I am left on my own.

Dear Classmates, &%###666&&%Q!!!

2009-09-15T13:38:00.004+08:00

Seriously, i never felt this bengang with my classmates like how i felt today.
sebab cuti hari raya da dekat, lecturer bagi pilih untuk hari khamis ni, our class nak buat kelas or nak hantar notes
je lepas raya. Our lecturer mintak notes untuk multimedia, yang boleh dicopy dari internet atau mana2 je yg korg suke.
Aku, for sure la sggp bt notes sekeping dua dari attend kelas jam 8 pagi tu.
Lagipun, that's the only class for that day. Our class dah ganti kelas Maths.

Guess what my classmates chose?
Diorang nak buat kelas on that day. Gila weh.
Dahla kita da ganti susah2 maths, nak buat ape je korg ganti kalau nak buat jugak kelas AIS hari tu?
TAW LA SOME OF YOU DAPAT EXCUSE BALIK AWAL.

kenapa korg selalu choose benda pelik2 ah? Sggp bgn awal kelas PUKUL 8?
BENGANG GILAAAAAA.

dan aku jgk bengang bila korg nk lecturer pilihkan group speaking test. TAK MAHU PILIH SENDIRI. Dan kalau takde chemistry xpe je.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT.

jgn slh phm. aku syg korg. cuma, WHY WHY WHYYY?

dan, aku nak balik umah. Aku dah sakit mata duduk lama2 dekat sini.

84.

2009-09-13T01:45:00.005+08:00

Banyak benda lom settle. Aku da nak blk UiTM. Aku xhafal formula lg, esok da nak quiz. Esok pun pre-speaking test. Ready? Speaking test aku xbimbang sgt, tp aku takut turns out that benda yg aku xbimbang tu la yg menyusahkan aku. Isk Isk.

Quiz je la yang membimbangkan. Arap2 xbt ape ke jenis careless mistake pun.
Aku nak markah cmni je salu :D

tp aku taw xkn la smpi mati dpt full mark, sila bersedia utk zaman kejatuhan. Lgpun quiz aritu senang.

Tata. Aku nak g mandi dan g ambil pendrive dkt skolah Ieka.

Pakcik Jual Air Tebu.

2009-09-10T22:11:00.004+08:00

Tadi masa OTW balik rumah atas kete, kami berenti dekat traffic light. Aku duduk belakang, belah kanan. Belakang driver terhebat, cik Pax. Itu bukan pointnye post ini.

Aku toleh kanan, nampak gerai air tebu. Sedap ya memang. Tapi tu juge bukan pointnye. Aku nampak seorang laki2 tua tengah struggle nak mesin tebu tebu untuk dijadikan air. Tua, pangkat datuk mungkin. Dia seorang tanpa bantuan. Aku nampak keletihan dan ketabahan di muka dia. Terketap2 gigi mencuba juga masukkan tebu dalam mesin tua, yang kelihatan tak berapa mampu beroperasi lama. Cuaca panas tak jejaskan usahanya.

Aku tenung dia, lama. Tapi kereta yang aku naik bergerak juga, dan pakcik tua tu hilang dari pandangan.

Dia buat aku berfikir, mana anak2 dia. Kenapa biarkan bapa mereka sebegitu tabah menjual air di bulan puasa ini. Dia patut berehat. Mungkin dia tiada anak?

Rasa macam nak menangis bila ingat balik.

Aku takkan biarkan mak ayah aku sebegitu nanti mereka tua.

To the Left, to the Right.

2009-09-10T21:48:00.004+08:00

tajuk takde kaitan. sekian.

Oh aku penat gila weh. Xtahu kenapa. Mungkin sebab harini panas sangat i'm pretty dehydrated. Mungkin la. And I'm home! Thanks to Paxx yang menghantar tadi muah muah. I have some errands to run now that I'm home. Harap harap sempat la buat semua. Mesti ke klinik. Mesti. Harap harap pergi sebab now kena pergi sendiri, jadi agak berat nak pegi. I hate medicines.

Sakit? Tak sakit lah, dapatkan some nasihat saja.

Spt yg mostly xtaw, aku br je dpt loan PTPTN. Offer je la sbb aku tak amik yg offer lepas. Xtahu la bile next phase, entah2 next year. Belum taw aku nk amek ke tak sebab, PT je pun. Berapa la sgt dia nk bagi aku. I'm clueless pasal loan YTN. Xtahu dpt ke tak. Tapi harap2 dpt sbb kalau dpt, xpyh bayar full. PT cekik nyamuk weh. Diploma je dah 15ribu.Degree? Sampai bile je aku nk berhutang?

Minggu ni agak fine lah. Pembelajaran okay. Listening test mcm lancau aku terberangan masa test so xdpt pick up ape dia ckp. Shit? YES SHIT. Tapi yang lepas tu lepaslah, baik aku fokus on Speaking dan Grammar. I hope I am going to do better on that. BTW I am in the third group untuk speaking, so most probably we will do it on the first day. Bagus lah. Lagi lama lagi tertekan. Habis cepat2 bagus.

Raya dah tak lama so aku gembira. Gembira kenapa? Dpt jumpa ramai orang lah. Kepulangan semua.

Aku suka 1 kasut raya tu tapi agak pricey jgk lah. Aku tengah kering kot. Mcmmane? Adoiyai.

Aku benci layout blog ni. Aku cuba tukar tapi tak jadik. I'm not longer a layout queen I once was. I'm clueless about all the codes! Tapi mesti tukar layout. Basic pun basic lahhh.

Kerja Maths mesti disiapkan, margin mesti distudy, moreh rasa nk pergi, klinik pun, salun juga, rasa nk makan biskut cornflakes. Dan, byk lagi.

I do,

2009-09-09T09:05:00.003+08:00

I have a great faith in my destiny.

=)

After all, it had brought me here, where I am now.
I am more than content.

Bosan dengan kampus.

2009-08-30T22:06:00.005+08:00

Tiba tiba aku sedar betapa boringnya life aku kat UiTM Machang Sayang. I got great friends there, be it old or new ones. Jalan sikit hye org tu, hye org ni, ramai je kwn dekat sini. Sebab ramai je Kelantanese dekat situ. Ramainye schoolmates, skolah lain, mutual friends dan macam2 kategori pny kwn. Okay bukan berlagak ramai kawan, just to state that, I am not stranded alone there.

Tapi kat sana life hanya pergi kelas, balik bt assignment dan kerja berkait dengan pelajaran. Tak keluar punnnnn. Nak keluar pergi mana? Dahla kena balik before 7 wtf. Dahl
a takde transp. Nak gerak ngan ape je? Err mak I pun tak bising balik after 7.

To think of this dengan diff perspective, bagus la macam tu. Boleh study dengan tenang. I used to think of it that way before, but it's different now.

Bila kau stress dengan akaun yang xbalance, dengan assgnment berlambak, dengan letih naik Batu Caves, dengan tekanan baca buku AIS tapi sepatah haram tak ingat, dengan banyak kain nak kena basuh, dengan makanan mahal duit tgh kering, ptptn mcm haram, letih naik tangga sampai level 4, TELL ME WHO CAN STAND THIS?

Okay mungkin ada, tp bukan aku kot. Sometimes aku cuma nak out from all the hassles, dan enjoy gelak dengan kawan kawan. Ye, boleh enjoy dengan kawan dkt kampus, but aku nak diff environment, BOSAN WEH.

before you suggest I pergi foodcourt, tak mahu.
dahla ramai org, order 2 jam br sampai wtf.

HOW TO HAVE A BLAST
WITHOUT GOING OUT OF THE CAMPUS?

p.s; gambar tiada kaitan dengan entri. the friends are great, cuma, aku penat disana tiada aktiviti luar.

Haih..

2009-08-26T20:45:00.002+08:00

I miss my old self.

seriously.

I want to be the old me.

It's nothing physical, I mean, I miss my old character.

I guess I am the only one who understand.

Hari Ke-4.

2009-08-25T16:54:00.005+08:00

Boleh la kan? Sempena bulan puasa yg mulia ini, tak nak la aku kuruskan pahala puasa org dan pahala puasa aku sendiri. So, go on la nak cakab aku hipokrit ke, main2kan isu tudung ke, ape2 ah. At least aku buat ape yg aku nak. So, lantak ah korg yg xsetuju tu ya.

At least, aku tak perlukan sorg boyf untuk suruh aku pakai tudung. Loser betul sape yg berubah sebab jantan tapi kembali kepada bentuk asal bila jantan tu tggl dia. LALALA//

Kira Chan Was Here.

2009-08-23T06:01:00.001+08:00

LaLaLa// :D

b o o h o o.

2009-08-21T22:09:00.010+08:00

Aku syg sorg laki nih dan aku tak penah pun brenti syg die. Even dah bertahun. Even aku dah kapel beberapa org pas die. Aku tak penah syg laki2 lepas dia tuh mcm aku syg die. Mcm, ye la diri aku mmg ngan laki len, tapi ati aku tak. Tetap ngan kau, ngan kau sorang je.

Aku tak taw nape aku rase cmni. Cam bodoh. Aku sayang kau, tapi susah kan? Sebab kau la aku ssh nk terima sesape. Aku bukan jenis yang sng2 nk syg org. Kenal sminggu dua dah boleh declare 'i love you smpi mati'. Mcm bdk2 PLKN. Tak, aku amek masa untuk syg org. Tapi masa je tak cukub, kalau aku xde feel, tetap xde jgk.

Aku rindu kau, dan aku bagitau kau begitu, even now. Aku tak cuba hide perasaan aku lagi. Tapi nak bt camne kn dh ko ade girlf skg. Taknak la aku berebut bertarik rambut dengan girlf kau. Dan kau selalu je ade girlf, agak beberapa org la selepas aku. Yelah fair and square la kot, sebab aku pun ade beberapa boyf lepas kau.

Love Story (sila klik) yang aku tulis beberapa tahun lepas tu semua pasal kau tahu tak. Aku tak taw ko taw tak tapi aku nak kau taw skang. Cite tu aku tulis mase aku da tak taw nak cite kat sape, nak ngadu kat sape. Beberapa org penah ngaku kat aku dorg nangis bace cite tu, even laki. Ramai boleh relate sbb aku tulis dengan ati.

Aku jumpa kau beberapa kali lepas kite over. Setiap kali jumpa aku buat relax. Buat santai macam takde ape. Tapi tuhan je taw dalam ati aku cmne. Byk benda nak cakab, nak buat. Aku nak tengok mata kau puas puas, mata yg aku rindu selama ni.

Tak ramai org yg taw psl kau sebab aku pilih utk diam. Aku tak bercerita even to kwn baik sebab aku harap kau tak wujud. Tak wujud untuk aku syg, tak wujud utk aku menangis. Aku harap kalau aku tak bercerita, aku akan lupa psl kau. Tapi tak, kau ttp wujud. Dan aku ttp syg kau, smpi skg.

Aku percaya pada takdir aku, tapi bila takdir aku bawak aku ke jalan ni, susah untuk aku tak rasa kecewa. Dan wondering, why why whyyy.

Haih, aku harap girlf kau jaga kau baik baik. Aku nak sgt cakab dengan girlf kau. Nak bagitaw dia jgn siasiakan kau, sbb aku dah bg kau kat dia. Aku nak bagitaw dia apa yg kau suka n xsuka. Ape yg kau nak sgt. Aku nak dia taw masak apa yg kau suka makan. Aku nak suruh dia setia. Supaya, dia boleh jadi girlf yg baik, even far better than aku. Konklusinya, aku nak kau hepi. Sedih tapi betul, tengok kau hepi pun boleh buat aku hepi taw tak. Loser? Yes mmg. So?

Sighh. Jaga diri baik2. Aku arap kau hepi.

dah ah xpyh komen kalu nk kutuk. sukati a nk emo aku pun manusia jgk.

Aurat. Isu Tudung.

2009-08-20T01:49:00.004+08:00

Bulan puasa dah dekat. Dah boleh bilang harinye dengan sebelah tangan. Aku tengah ade satu psoalan jgk kot. Tengah pikir nak pakai tudung time bulan puasa. Atau, nak pakai tudung pergi kelas. Either one lah.

Aku taknak treat benda ni main2 actually, ikut suka je nak buka ke tutup. Kalau boleh aku nak pilih salah satu, either pakai tudung or freehair. Tapi, sungguh, I feel strongly about wearing tudung to classes.

Dah seminggu lebih kot aku consider, asking some people. A lot yang menyokong dan ada je yang tak kisah dan ade je yang macam tak menyokong. I know some classmates will be happy seeing me covering my aurat, but if they are unhappy of me not covering my aurat pun, who cares. At the end, it's me. Me. ME okay. Aku yang buat keputusan.

Dan macam, kalau aku nak pakai tudung mse bulan puasa je pun, adekah aku nak pergi kelas lepas raya tayang rambut lg? Tercapai akal aku ke? Macam main mainkan tudung tu pulak. Kalau aku buat keputusan untuk full time bertudung pergi kelas, adakah aku betul betul dah bersedia untuk bertudung ke kelas?

Tapi setiap kali kelas agama, aku rasa mcm bangang sebab time kelas agama tu pakai tudung, then lepas tu terus buang tudung pergi kelas English. Apekah? Motif? Hipokrit?
Madam once said, I looked nicer wearing tudung. Dan aku macam, humm ye lah, ku sedang consider la ni.

Atau adakah lebih baik aku put aside dulu soal tudung, dan beri perhatian pada ibadat aku? Bila ibadat aku dah okay, baru consider pasal tudung?

Kalau pakai tudung full time pulak mcm mne? Erkk aku rasa yg tu aku belum ready lg.

Weh persoalan banyak gila kot. Sape2 ade pendapat?

Kalau rasa agak nak sound or kutuk niat aku ni, tlg email je.
Begitu jugak kalau nak bagi link advice, atau ape2 lah.
Nemosherra@yahoo.com

Patutnye, aku ikot je kate ati. Kan?

Quote for the first semester

2009-08-18T10:01:00.004+08:00

I'd rather regret things I had done than regret things I wish I'd done.

"Twenty years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did"

kita masih muda kan?
jadi kita harus have fun, iya kan?



Go on, life is all about challenges
and picking up new experiences.
How you deal with it had made you what you are today.
If you're too scared to try, then you will be nothing.
=)

Humming.Humm.

2009-08-07T17:03:00.005+08:00

Sentap? Agak arh. Why why why?
Dan, aku dah tak tau nak rasa macam mana.

A long sigh. Haih.

Nvm, 3 years lagi kau akan baca
post ni dan fikir, kau bodoh, Hanim.

Perasaan aku.

2009-08-02T00:00:00.005+08:00

Part 1.
Rasa frust. Rasa berat hati. Rasa sakit. Rasa macam, berserah. Tapi macam, nak try jugak. Tapi.. dah ar. Aku serahkan je pada takdir. Tapi. Kalau aku tak bertindak, macam mana takdir aku nak berubah?

Part 2.
Balik Machang pukul 7 pagi nanti. Tak tahu nak rasa macam mana. Kosong. Assignments berlambak kot tak siap.

Part 3.
Gembira sikit. Sebab tailor tu accept baju aku. Aku ingat dah takde tailor nak accept dah. Dan gembira jugak sebab dapat jumpa Effy itu hari. It's been so long, I guess.

Part 4.
Yasmin Ahmad punya movies tak pernah gagal dalam membuatkan air mata formed behind my eyes//

Part 5.
Aku tiba2 rindu Pejey, Rara, Temy, dan semua semua lah. Rindu pulak study tengah tengah malam.(wah). Dan, nak tengok bekalan makanan rm33. HAHA.

Part 6.
Rasa lega sampai Kelantan harini. Sebab hari ni jugak, dekat KL ada rusuhan ISA apa entah. Dan aku lega sebab setakat ni takde tanda tanda h1n1 kat diri aku. Ye ah aku bimbang jugak sebab ari Jumaat tu naik komuter je memanjang. Tak pakai mask lak tuh. Dengan orang sesak. Hum humm. [Talk about being paranoid, huh?]

Part 7.
Pergi kedai lens dengan muka bangun tidur. Rambut tak sikat muka sikit pun tak belek. Dahla jumpa ramai orang yang aku kenal. Diorang macam gelak je tengok muka aku tak terurus. Haih.

Part 8.
Aku mesti pergi salun, ape pun yang terjadi.

With that, goodnight people.
May August brings us happiness, peace and serenity.

Semakin kau membesar.

2009-07-27T15:44:00.009+08:00

Okay kalini topik aku akan lebih menjurus kepada myspace. Aspek lain? Lain kali lah. Semakin aku membesar dan menginjak kedewasaan [dewasa kah?], semakin boring myspace terhadap aku. Aku dah jarang login. Untuk masa sekarang pun, last login entah bila. 2 mggu lepas kot? Aku tak lagi interested nak upload upload gamba dan menanti komen komen dari friendlist di myspace. Dan aku dah kurang berminat nak berkomen komen.

Feature terbaru myspace (terbaru ke?) yang boleh chatting macam di FB tu pun tak mampu buat aku tertarik. Ye aku akui kalau kau nak stalk orang, myspace mampu memenuhi tujuan itu. Ye la, boleh view gamba gamba terbaru, komen terbaru seseorang individu. Dan boleh tahu individu tu makin hot atau tak, ada pasangan atau tak, cool atau tidak, dan etc. Cuma kalau nak stalk aku tu tak boleh kot sebab gamba pun aku dah lama xupload, komen pun tak jugak.

Semakin hari, aku rasa myspace semakin lame. Aku hairan dengan sesetengah warga myspace yang mesti mahu ada group sendiri. Cool kah begitu? Maksud aku, contohnya, default name macam ni; Lina [SugarBaby], Aleya [GossipGirls] dan Flizz [theMADU]. Contoh saja aku tak maksudkan sesiapa. Perlu ke kita belong kan diri kita dalam 1 kumpulan? I mean, perlu ke bergantung pada kumpulan itu untuk diri sendiri?

Aku tak faham, dan tak pernah faham. Mungkin sebab aku tak pernah mahu buat default name aku jadi macam tu kot. Dan mungkin, sebab tu aku tak cukup cool bagi kau HAHAHA. Takpe aku rasa aku okay saja, tak perlu bergantung pada apa apa group.

Dan, aku pernah terserempak dengan 1 group ni di myspace. Konon agak macam perempuan hot la kot. Dan kau boleh je join group tu kalau owner group tu rasa kau cukup hot. Benar, aku rasa itu sungguh mengarut. I mean, adakah hotness level itu everything? Bukankah isi hati tu lagi penting? Dan adakah mempunyai group pada default name itu everything? Tak kot.

Seterusnya (wah macam karangan SPM siot), aku rasa mEngEjA maCaM nI bUaT aKu sUsAh NaK pAhAm aPa KaU cuBa sAmpAikan. Betul, tak perlu ya? Eja saja macam biasa. Dan cara mengeja macam ni juga buat aku meluat, contoh; tardee Leeya purrgey shoppink dengan Arenis(walhal temannya nama Anis saja) hari hari kamee leypark leypark macam tuww taw. Leeya sayunk Arenis sgt sgt. Kank kita purrgey shoppink lagiee yew muaxx muaxx. Sigh WTF eja betul betullah.

Mungkin aku berbunyi macam orang tua yang sangat tak cool sekarang. Tapi percayalah. Aku pun pernah muda macam kau jugak dulu. Dan sekarang pun muda lagi baru 18. Tapi mungkin, cara aku dan kau view things saja berbeza. Dan aku tak kata myspace teruk, just kurang diperhatikan saja buat masa sekarang untuk aku. Same goes to FB dan FS.

Tapi aku turut berterima kasih terhadap myspace sebab banyak temukan aku dengan kawan kawan lama. Dan kenalkan aku dengan kawan kawan baru. Ada antaranya, aku sekarang boleh consider teman baik. Ye selepas bertahun kenal dan keluar keluar dan punya chemistry, aku boleh kata aku sayang mereka. Dan lagi, kenalkan aku terhadap lelaki lelaki rembes di myspace HAHA.

Terima kasih diucapkan kepada blogspot yang mengisi fokus aku sekarang. Sungguh, kalau tak, on9 tak tahu nak buat apa selain buat assignment(wah), forum, youtube dan bukak site site magazine haha.

Gambar takde kaitan dengan entri. Cuma aku rasa mereka bertiga sangat cumels esp rambut Zee Avi mcm tu weh.

So Long, Yasmin Ahmad

2009-07-26T09:57:00.002+08:00

Sigh. What a loss. Rest in peace. Al Fatihah.

Pengalaman.

2009-07-25T22:40:00.005+08:00

In any second atau any minutes, phone kedua aku akan mampus pulak. Aduh. Kalaula aku taw awal awal UiTM cuti mengejut ni, boleh la aku ingat untuk bawak balik charger phone. Dan, phone pertama sudah mampus. Tunggu turn phone kedua pulak yang dari tadi menjerit low battery. Ah. Esok kena pergi beli charger. Malas balik UiTM amik charger, jauh. Xde orang nak drive aku dan aku sendiri pun malas nak drive. Oh, banyak betul necessities aku tertinggal sebab xtahu pasal cuti ni +_+

Friends, nanti hangout ya.

tiba tiba aku macam boleh relate sangat sangat dengan perempuan yang
heartbroken, ditinggalkan dan tak diperlukan. lelaki.
macam mana aku boleh relate?
experience is the best teacher.
Thanks.
Aku rindu kau,yang pertama. Serius.

Dan. Phone aku berbunyi. Aku toleh, dan phone aku mampus. Shit.

Update.

2009-07-24T13:03:00.004+08:00

Macam kelakar je rambut macam ni. Ia dipanggil rambut mata duitan hahaha.

Dengan Kak Ya sayang.
Wah aku shed some weight nampaknya sejak naik tangga2 puaka di sini.

Di rumah Temy, makan pisang yang dipotong santeppp sahaja.

Ngan Kak Miza dekat Kyros Kebab. Oh, rasa macam nak makan Kyros dowh.

Pose pose lepas borong tudung. Masa tu aku tengah on the phone dengan.. effy kot?

Masa naik tangga. Well, kedudukan mengikut siapa cepat naik tangga. Dan macam biasa, aku lah yang paling atas (berlagak) wahaha.

Rara hotties. Yang tak tahan, aku pakai cap kesatria dowh.

Buat muka konon comel masa dekat Library. Ni masa tengah tulis jurnal untuk hantar dekat Madam Bahira.

Dengan Wahida, classmate.
Dan lastly, inilah tenggiling. Atau nama baru, Rollerr Coaster. Nak naik untuk turun naik bukit boleh je. Caj 0.50 sen per entry. Digelar Roller Coaster oleh aku dan Icha sebab rasa macam naik Roller Coaster je bila benda ni turun bukit. Oh, tanpa Roller Coaster, mungkin dah lama aku pengsan di Machang ni.

Kredit to; Blog Kak Ya. (for the pictures)

Tagged Tadded :P

2009-07-24T11:31:00.003+08:00

Kira Chan's

1. Ape perasaan anda sekarang?
penat. sakit kepala.

2. Saya nak makan?
wah, tidak sebanyak kira mungkin. aku nak makan.. Kenny Rogers. KFC hot and spicy i miss youuu. Dan, nasik ayam sigai.

3. Saya tak suka?
orang yang nampak baik gila tapi talam dua muka. tikam belakang. dah la, hidup aku
dah banyak jumpa org macam ni. And, oh, attention seeker too. Amik la semua attention, aku tak nak pun.

4. Impian saya?
DL for this sem, and next sem too. And be able to do degree early.
Aku nak jadi accountant dowh.
Win that bet haha.
Get happy, get happier.
Make my parent proud of me.

5. Haiwan yang saya tak suka?
lipas, katak, ular, cicak, serangga2 pilihan.

6. Saya harapkan?
Sehat, sehat selalu macam sekarang.
Sebab, orang kata orang yang jarang sakit macam aku ni, kalau sakit akan sakit teruk. Jadi, aku tak nak macam tu. Aku nak sehat je selalu.

7. Jika boleh putarkan masa?
To the past, tak nak, no regrets.
To the future? No, let the moment comes on its own.

8. Saya pada 10 tahun akan datang?
Sudah gradd. Sudah bekerja. Have my own car, have my own house. I mean MY OWN. Oh I want to have my own babies when I'm 28. Dan diharapkan babies tidak rasa neglected kerana mummy sibuk kerja hahaha. Dream on hanim, dream on.

9. Handphone saya adalah sebuah?
n70, and aku tak teringin nak tukar telefon. Sebab? Dapat call, msg, mms, snap pics cukuplah. Phones don't interest me, camera does :)

10. Saya pernah bercinta sebanyak?
Banyak kali kot.

11. Saya suka pada?
Kasut baru :))

12. Kawan-kawan saya?
ramai la jugak. dan semua, aku sayangs. Good or bad, they had taught me something.

13. Pernah dikhianati?
Yup. Many times. Especially, from someone you never expect to do so.

14. Apa yang anda hendak lakukan terhadap orang yang mengkhianati anda?
I'll just, avoid them and pray that karma do its job.

15.Siapakah yang mahu anda tag?
Pejeyyy! Pojiii HAHAAHHAHAHA.

To Do List

2009-07-17T11:00:00.008+08:00

Im going to edit this post each time I complete my to do list.

As I'm writing this, I'm at home. Yeahhh hahaha. Okay dah. Maybe when I'll get back to UiTM tomorrow night, I'll have to stay in my actual room. My actual roommates were quite okay actually, aku je yang gedik nak pegi duduk bilik Rara.

Okay. To do list.

Study.
- Read about verbs, subject-verb agreement, adverbs, prepositions and conjunctions. Madam Bahira akan check kami sekelas baca ke tak pasal semua ni on Sunday morning. + presentation - done
- Study about accounting conventions, equations, type of companies untuk quiz FAR100 pada hari isnin depan. - done
- Study Maths pasal topik yang belajar semalam sebab masih belum clear. - done
- Assignments CTU due 2 weeks lagi.

To Buy List
- Thermos yang berbentuk cawan.
- Milo 3 in 1 cereals - done
- Roti + Peanut butter for breakfast - done
- New mouse - done
- New shoes - done
- Kain baju raya.
- Shower foam - done

To bring along with.
- Sabun debu - done
- Supplements - done
- More towels - done
- Novels + Magazine - done
- Files - done
- Tissues - done

To eat.
- The new chickaroni at KFC - done
- Nasi Ayam homemade - done

To meet
- Naah, nobody, I'm too busy for this two days.

To do when I get back in UiTM.
- kemas all my belongings. haha but I don't know where I'll sleep this time. Malasnyaaaa.

That's it. Goodbye people. Oh I'mmm soooo lazyy to start studying BEL. Banyaks sgts. +_+

Untuk, Kau lah.

2009-07-14T10:08:00.005+08:00

Tak payah rasa bersalah lagi ya. Aku dah lupakan, dan sudah lama aku maafkan kau. Tapi cuma, aku tak beritahu secara berdepan saja. Dan, bukan salah kau seorang. Salah aku jugak. Yang lepas tu lepaslah, tapi maaf sebab aku tak dapat kembalikan kita macam biasa sebab dulu pun, kita bukan macam tu. Jangan bimbang, aku fine saja sekarang. Mungkin aku seorang, tapi aku tahu, cara aku mampu buat aku gembira. Aku boleh jaga diri aku sendiri. =)

Lalala//

2009-07-14T08:12:00.002+08:00

Previous entry sudah di draftkan. Sudah tak marah lagi sebab weekend ni sudah bisa pulang sih :D hahaa. Ada camping Kesatria actually tapi aku awal2 lagi dah buat pengecualian kredit. Dahla, cukup la dengan PLKN okay? Aku akan cuba study betul2 so that dapat AD. Harap harap lah +_+. Well Rara, have fun sama camping ya :P

p;s - laju dowh wifi ni pagi2 buta macam ni. it's 8.17 am nowww :D

Sudah dua minggu.

2009-07-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

I didn’t have time, I didn’t know what to write. Class sudah mula. Kerja BEL dengan FAR belum settle lagi act. Present + quiz next week.I need to write some journal also, since Madam Bahira told us to do so. I’m not sure if she ever want to read our journals pun. But, I’ll write something. Harap harap quiz + present tak jadi sebab aku malas sangat dowww hahaha. Well, I’ll paste some pictures.

In memory of Joy 27-29 June 2009, Uitm Machang.

During MMS, we need to wear sneakers with baju kurung wtf.

First day MMS, masih bertenaga mahu ambil gambar.

Dengan Kak Ya di McDonaldssss ;D

Aku juga main lastik dengan budak anak Kak Ja :D

Kelas apa entah. BEL kot.

Juga bergambar dalam library. Hahaha

Dan turut menjadi petrol girl :D

Night view dari bilik Temy. Kredit kepada Temy the snappers.

Lastly, apabila kau penat sangat nak dengar ceramah, kau akan masuk toilet gymnasium dan tidur beramai ramai hahahahah spot me!

Boohoo. Machang Sayang Part 2

2009-07-06T09:24:00.003+08:00

Masa tengah menulis ni, aku dalam Library UiTM Machang. Hahahaa. Bodoh dowww online dalam library +_+ nerd skema semua ada. There's a lot of pictures that I want to upload but susah la online pakai komputer library ni. I'm doing fine here. Still trying to adjust with the people, the surroundings and everything. But, I can't help to think that I'm so blessed. Blessed of everything// =)

Aku dapat bilik dekat Kolej Dato' Onn tingkat 4. Siot dowhhh tinggi gila. I think kaki pun sudah kecik sekarang :D Nanti raya dah slimm kot. Well, I wish.

I don't feel very well actually. Maybe tengah cough or something. I'm pretty sure this had something to do with that water cooler. Tu lah malas sangat nak boil air sendiri. So I stopped using that water cooler yesterday and start drinking my own boiled water ahhahaa.

Hidup sekarang semua kene buat sendiri. It really had taught myself something. Boohoo. I had to go now. Kelas pukul 10. Babai :D

Machang Part 1

2009-07-06T07:21:00.002+08:00

okay I get to on9 for 10mins only. i'll terangkan why on next post sebab dah tak sempat. Life in Machang wasn't that bad. I'm writing this in my room (im alone) Rara balik KB dah. Nanti esok penuh la balik. Minggu ni sangat penat. Tapi I'll story soon. Just to tell you ppl that, I'm all fine here.

Joy, good luck. Aku sayang kauu :)
Efiey, rindu mg jugak +_+

Last Entry//

2009-06-26T21:01:00.007+08:00

Bukan la last sangat pun. Just after this tak akan update hinggalah laptop kembali ke pangkuan.

Harini bangun dalam pukul 8 pagi. Tengok ada message Kak Ya. Die cakap 'Hanim, I dah gerak ke sana. Esok masa daftar kite buat sama2 taw. Nanti leh jadi roommate'. Msg tu dalam kul 6.30 pagi. Aku dalam keadaan blur gila tiba2 tersedar. Esok dah nak pegi.

Okay la tak pegi jauh. But I won't be home for at least two weeks. So perlu bawak banyak barang. Terus ku bangun dari katil dan tengok apa yang dah pack. Sial. Hanya baju je yang ditimbun dalam luggage tapi tak lipat. Aku yang tiba2 sedar esok dah nak pergi ni, terus lipat dan list beberapa barang yang lupa/belum beli. Petang pergi beli barang yang belum beli, sikit jer. Tapi bapak ah jalan jem dan orang ramai nak mampus.

Kak Ya message lagi cakap dia dekat KBmall. Tapi aku tak pegi ah jumpa dia sbb tengah busy ni. Lepas sudah beli barang, aku balik dan packing semua barang. Yeah akhirnya sudah juga. Nak tengok? Tak nak tengok pun aku tepek jugak.

Yeah itu saja brg saya. Oh, penyapu tu bukan lah. Harap harap dapat bilik tingkat bawah esok sebab tak larat la nak angkat banyak banyak ni.

Aku dah wave goodbye to Simba sygss. Die agak badmood jadi dio cakar muka aku. Shit harap harap tak nampak la +_+

Semua dah siap kot. Tinggal nak simpan laptop je. Hurm harap harap dapat sebilik ngan kawan kawan. Pegi UiTM Machang Sayang agak menakjubkan sebab macam reunion gitu. Kita selalu ingat masuk U, semua berpisah, tapi rasa macam masih bersama je. Plus dengan bdk skola lain lagi. Haha. Aduh. Tak berkembang betul.

Michael Jackson meninggal harini. Terkejut jugak. Tapi, ajal maut sape leh teka kan? I heard he died as a muslim. Alhamdulillah. Tapi, tengoklah macam mana dia punya funeral. Harap2 as a muslim jugak.

Okay lah aku kena brenti dah. Goodbye uols. Dan, good luck untuk semua. I looove u guyss.

P;s - hp tak brenti bbunyi. Msg dari kawan2 yang berkalut2 tiba tak henti2. Haha see you ppl tomorrow. :)